Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Are my feet made of real feet?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
