and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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