I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
