I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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