I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
