Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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