I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
