mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
