I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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