I bet he comes in French.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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