glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Who wears a wallet chain?!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
