dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
