I accidentally had phone sex last night
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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