Screwed.edu
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
