I just made out with a guy for $7.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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