how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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