The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
