IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
