i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
