I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
