You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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