So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
did you just send me my own nude
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
