My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
