Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
