i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
