Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
YAS. BRING CRAB.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
