if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
