everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
