Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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