we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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