He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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