I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
as a side note pls kill me
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