this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Boobs are out for the taking
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
