i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
