I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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