new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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