I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
