I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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