using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
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dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
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My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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