All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
