Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
