I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
