How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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