So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
