the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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