You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
