she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
