I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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