Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
