she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
