Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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