i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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