never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
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Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
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GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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