So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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