to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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