guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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