Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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