no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
